MetaChat - Am I Freaking People Out?

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19 June 2007

Am I Freaking People Out? →[More:]
So today I walked out of the tube station and a bloke, carrying rather more plastic bags than most people pushes past me and says "don't make a nuisance of yourself."

Seriously, I was just walking in the usual boring way I tend to walk. Nothing special or interesting, just walking.

Yesterday I walked into a convenience store and picked up an unhealthy lunch of a pie and some crisps and went up to the counter. I waited patiently for the counter dude to get his shit together and serve me. I waited and didn't tut or complain or anything, just stood around like a normal guy. After he'd served me the guy suddenly says, in a slightly pissed off way "It's nice to be free."

It wasn't until I left that it struck me that the guy with the heavy lidded eyes might have been too stoned to say it's free to be nice.

Jeesh, if me being normal pisses people off so much maybe I should just be an asshole like everyone else.

post by: dodgygeezer at: 18:42 | 29 comments

I think you should tape yourself while ranting about this and put it on YouTube so I can watch it and judge for myself ;)

posted by iconomy 19 June | 18:46

*freaks out*

posted by jonmc 19 June | 18:50

You should consider the possibility that you are some kind of freak and just don't know it. Record some of your ranting and post it to YouTube so iconomy can judge for us.

posted by dg 19 June | 18:51

i don't get it, do you look like a homeless man now? What does any of that mean?
*considers freaking out a little*

posted by ethylene 19 June | 18:52

Are you by chance wandering London in nothing but a trenchcoat?

posted by ethylene 19 June | 18:55

git yur freak on
git yur freak on
git yur freak on
git yur freak on

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 19 June | 18:57

Are you sure you're not just imagining people saying things? Because that would definitely freak me out.

Have you had any ATMs ask you to feed them stray cats, by any chance?

posted by puke & cry 19 June | 19:02

Le freak? C'est chic.

posted by miss lynnster 19 June | 19:03

Are you by chance wandering London in nothing but a trenchcoat?

Nobody would notice cause of the fog.

posted by jonmc 19 June | 19:23

From time to time people enter into an overlapping but slightly parallel universe known as Earth^0.8. What you're currently experiencing is the temporal dislocation effects from straddeling both universes simultaneously - on one hand, you have normal, everyday interactions with residents of Earth¹, in your regular universe, but sometimes you'll encounter the not-quite-all-there Earth^0.8 residents. Don't worry, you'll cross back over to Earth¹ entirely soon enough, and probably won't encounter Earth^0.8 again until roughly the next lunar eclipse. However, do start worrying if you see humans on leashes being walked by 2 metres tall chimpanzees - that's Earth² and you must find a secure building to lock yourself in until it passes.

posted by cmonkey 19 June | 19:31

You're not freaking me out.

If that makes you feel better.

posted by jason's_planet 19 June | 19:51

man I've had months where I've felt i was on Earth 0.8

posted by edgeways 19 June | 20:26

I AM TRAPPED ON THE PLANET OF THE ASSHOLES PLEASE HELP ME!!!

posted by bmarkey 19 June | 20:33

I'm fairly sure I live on some kind of square root Earth.

posted by jonmc 19 June | 21:15

Dodgy - double check and make sure that your asshole magnet isn't set to anything higher than three. You get that thing above six and you're asking for trouble.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 19 June | 22:22

Is that where you're suppose to keep your magnet?

posted by ethylene 19 June | 22:24

no wonder I had so much trouble closing the fridge door with my ass

posted by edgeways 19 June | 22:26

dodgy, my friend, you carry yourself as a carefree person, someone who won't let his troubles interfere with enjoying life.

People HATE that.

posted by mischief 19 June | 22:28

Did any of those people look like these people?

posted by ethylene 19 June | 22:28

Is that where you're suppose to keep your magnet?

I was referring to the magnet that attracts assholes, not one kept there. The only thing I keep in my asshole is a ring-of-fire. And that's only after I eat especially spicy Indian food.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 19 June | 22:32

Are you sure you're actually you? Check your wallet. You may be surprised!

posted by eamondaly 19 June | 23:57

You're not freaking people out. It's just that the out-to-get-dodgygeezer-conspiracy people have begun a campaign of reverse-psychology freaking.

posted by pompomtom 20 June | 01:27

I'd imagine you hit a small localised pocket of coincidence. If it'd only been one person you'd have shrugged it off. I say, shrug it off.
Oh, and also because you're a goddamned long haired hippy.

posted by seanyboy 20 June | 01:33

Re the Tube station, are you walking too slowly? Apparently average London speed is 60ft in 12.17 seconds, which equates to 3.36 miles per hour. It is pretty annoying when someone shuffles along slowly blocking the way. If you must mooch along, try leaving space for people to get past, and speeding up if you're passing through a narrow entranceway.

The counter guy was probably just nuts.

posted by TheophileEscargot 20 June | 01:56

Yep, Tube guy just somehow managed to get stuck behind you, while counter guy mistook you for a member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and thought that it must be nice to be you.

posted by taz 20 June | 05:16

Yep. Guy in tube thought you were walking too slowly, and guy in convenience store thought you were a giant lizard from Planet X, who once was enslaved but had chewed through you're own leg to free yourself from the shackles of drudgery. He was pissy cause he was jealous.

posted by muddgirl 20 June | 06:54

at first I read "Gay in tube", muddgirl... and thought, "Hm! What a clever new product!"

posted by taz 20 June | 07:13

I think you should tape yourself while ranting about this and put it on YouTube so I can watch it and judge for myself ;)

I think you should tape yourself while ranting about this and put it on YouTube so I you can watch it and ~~judge for myself~~ find out you're judging yourself too harshly about nothing at all.
:-)

posted by shane 20 June | 08:07

posted by iconomy 20 June | 11:54

← Translation, please, in dumbed down English. || I just got a broadcast e-mail at work with the subject "Drug Action Week" →

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